Friday, September 28, 2007

Half of Sale on Collage Degrees

Our Bible collage is having a sale on degrees right now, 50% off any degree. Now is the rite time for you to ackwire the tools you need for your minstry amen. Our bachlors are now selling for $500, masters of divinty for $350, and doctrates for $750 amen or all three for $1250 which is $350 savings after half off amen.

Now some of you mite be worred about the qualty of our classes becuse we are selling them so cheep amen. One man asked Preecher why there so cheep right now is it becuse there not any good amen? Let me tell you why amen. Our buses did not pass inspecton amen. We thot about suing for sepraton of church and state amen but the CLA has not reterned our calls so were just gong to have to rase the money to fix the buses amen. Its not rite amen but Preecher syas sometimes you got to do what it takes to win soles amen. Also theres some widows that rides the vans amen and they cant tithe if they cant come to church amen.

Some of you mite worry about the qualty of our doctrate amen. If thats case you can try out one of our classes for free amen. If you like it you can pay for it and will write it down in your transcrip for credit amen but if you dont like it then theres no charge amen. Not many semnarys will give you that deel amen.

The class is tott by Preecher and its on "False Religons and Herseys" The false religons include:

Suthron Baptists

These are herezies that will be studyed:

Modern perversons
New Evangleclism
Baby baptizing
Rock n Roll Religon
post Trib

Friday, September 21, 2007

New class Im teeching the semster

Im teeching 20th centry church history at our Bible collage this fall. The corse is divide into two the two grate movements of the last hundred years called Fundmentalism and Libralism.

For Fundmentlism we will be studying the grate Fundmental Baptist preechers such as:

charles Spurgon
DL Moody
J Frank Norris
John R Rice
Lee Robersen
Lester Roloff
Jack Hyles
Jack Shap
Phil Kid
David Clowd
Bob Jones Sr

For Librals we will study the following librals. Some of you mite ask why were studing librals and thats just so you know what your up against amen. These are the apostrates we will study:

Harry Emersen Fosdik
Billy Gramm
Fransis Shafer
RC Sprule
Jerry Fellwell
Al Moler
Tim Lee
Voile Glover
Jon McArther
Jon Piper
Rick Waren
Joe Osteen

The semester alreddy started but if any of you want to take the class thru distance lerning just call the church and well send you out a packet amen.

Sept 21 Autum Begins

Bruthers, Sisters, apostrates,

today is September 21 and that means its not summer any more amen. Its now fall so put away your short skirts you hussys, stop waring your flip flops you homos, start dressing like you got some sense amen. Amen, its time to stop dressing like a too bit hore or a pretty boy from San FransissyCo amen. Put some close on.

Were livin in the last days amen when the standreds are fallin by the wayside amen. When its hot outside the women want to dress hot and when its cold the women still want to dress hot amen. There gong to take off there skirts and put on some tight pants amen. STrate out of the pits of hell amen dont have any concern for the mens out there whats trying to live right amen.
Amen and besides pants is mens close amen. Dont dress like a lesban ladies amen dress like a woman amen put on a nice loose fitting dress amen. Thats what the Bible teeches amen. All you Greek geeks out there amen check out the Greek word for modesty in the King James Bible amen. its katastole amen which if you look up means falling down robes amen. that don't sound like pants amen thats a DRESS amen. Put that in your pipe and smoke it amen rather than smoking that marjowanna you librales like so much amen.

No you men like waring pants amen but get a haircut and trim off that beard and stop looking like a homo amen. And just remember amen that emo rimes with homo amen. Put your wifes in subjecton with all gravety amen and dont let her walk around causing other men to stomble amen.

If any of you out there is saved and not librale pleese remember to pray for me amen. I need to get merried amen. I thot I had found me a good preechers wife amen but she said we culdnt go out until I had a job amen. I told her I do have a job amen Im an evanglist amen but she said that she ment a reel job amen. Thats whats wrong with our fundamentel churches today amen is that women dont want to be merried and support there man amen. The big preechers and the Sword need to step in and say something about these girls whats called to be a preechers wife what dont think they shuld get merried until there man has a job amen. How am I ever gong to get merried if they all want me working full time amen?


Evangelist Rev. Dr. Bro. Phil ARmenikMoe.D., D.D., D.Min, D.I.P., Th.D., Ph.D., D.Litt, D.Hum., D.Miss.King James Only, Pretriblatonal, Premilenniall, Dispensatonal, High Standards, Soul Winning, Hell Fire and Brimestone Preachig, No Tunges, Landmark INDAPENDANT FUNMENTAL BAPTIST!!