Saturday, May 29, 2010

Is the oil spil in Revlations?

Is the oil spil in Revlations?

Deer brothrs and sisters and liberales, many have rote me to ask if this ol leek is in the book of Revlations chapter 8 and verse 8 ware the King James says that a third part of sea was becom blood. Thats good queston and I comment you on asking it. But bare in mine that Revlaton 8 comes after the Rapture in REvlaton 3 ware Apostle Jon is called up to the third heven and said look hithers amen. Becuse weve not had rapture yet then this cant be the oil spill but it culd come at any time what with the the Kinyen in the Wite House amen and I beleve were getting close and angle is puckring up his lips reddy to blow that trumpt at any time. There come soon a big crash on Wall Mart when all the rich will howl and weep then likly a big war in Middle Est ware them oil wells will spill out for yeers and turn a third of the woerlds osheans red like it is Gulf rite now amen.

If any of you know a good girl want get merried pleese let me at her amen. Im gettin desprate as the days are short and Id like to get merried before Rapture comes amen. Culd be vary few months maybe even tomorrow so theres no time to waist amen.

Sincerly,

Evangelist Rev. Dr. Bro. Phil ARmenik
Moe.D., D.D., D.Min, D.I.P., Th.D., Ph.D., D.Litt, D.Hum., D.Miss.

King James Only, Pretriblatonal, Premilenniall, Dispensatonal, High Standards, Soul Winning, Hell Fire and Brimestone Preachig, Bus Minstry, No Tunges, Old Paths Landmark INDAPENDANT FUNMENTAL BAPTIST!!

5 Comments:

Blogger Crystal said...

Bro. Armenik

Preecher told us at Wednesday prayer service that the world is ending because of the oil spill and Obamocure plan. Preecher has asked the women to make covered dishes and the men to hunt and salt the meet so we will be redy when the civil war comes that americens whill fight against themselves to bring the nashon back to God and republicans. I am a single women and cannt find a man or a dog that will hunt for me so that I can make provishuns for the end of the world. I can make tapesters and cakes and mill my own grane, but I need a husband who will protect me when the americens rise up against Obomo to take this country back to where to the old thyme religion.

I will ride your bus with you and submit to you on all matters, including toilet paper selection and what kind of jean jumpers you want me to wear. Bro. Armenik, please save me before Revelations comes to pass. I am a good women, I just need to get my teeth ficksed.

Fondly,

Esther

11:28 PM  
Blogger nazani said...

On behalf of all Armenians, I really wish you'd chosen a different name. Sure, you're funny, but we'll just pretend we don't know you, 'kay?

12:51 PM  
Blogger Les DuLunch said...

I noe your needin work so I was thinkin mabeye you cud start a Bible colege. Thers alot of us what needs to lern what you cud teech us. Mabeye you cud make it mail order or on the enter nets even. I need a digree so if you cant start a colege can you tell me a college wher I can get a cool Moe D dagree like your's?

9:10 AM  
Blogger Cherry20 said...

Hey, Phil, I like your originality! I like that you "bare in mind" and that you talk of "puckring up his lips." Through this, I can hear God speaking to me that you're a man of passions who likes to have bare things/people in your mind. Me too!

Although, I hasten to add I am not a "man" who likes these things, I am a woman. This I emphasize because I know you don't like those unnatural things that men do with men. And, as a woman, I think you I may be of interest to you!

As I was saying, God has been speaking to me. He told me that a guy with about nine degrees, mostly doctorates, should be able to support me in the way God intends amen.

I do have a small problem: I grew up in Papa New Guiny. As you know from your trips across the globe, women there go nekkid and men wear lesbian grass skirts. That's what I'm accustomed to, but if God keeps working on me, I'm willing to change amen.

Looking forward to you breaking me in.

Love,
Cherry.

10:45 PM  
Blogger Lewis said...

Did Bro. Armenik ever get merried amen?

8:48 PM  

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