Thursday, March 23, 2006

Spring is here

Spring is here amen. Spring is the time when new life begins amen. Some of you need to start a new life amen. If you dont know what I mean amen I mean you need to get SAVED amen.

Some of you say your saved amen but if you were saved amen you wuldnt act like you do amen.

If you were saved amen you wuldnt listen to that rock n rolls amen or go to Hellywood movees amen. You say you only go to cleen movees amen but how do the unsaved know your not watching porn in the theeater amen. Some will say brother Armenik I dont listen to no rock and rolls but you listen to contry amen and its just as bad amen. It all come out of Nashville amen and theres nothing good come out of that city amen. And that goes for you Suthron Babtist amen who is also in Nashville amen. And then thers those of you that like listening to the Gaythers and other Suthron Baptist Gospel amen but lets not go there amen.

lets talk bout those librale churches you go to amen. You know the kind with the CCM musack and the glass pulpit amen. Your playing with strange fare amen with that trashy musack amen and the pulpit suppose to be big and scary becuse thats your athority when you preech amen. How anyone suppose do take preecher seriesly when hes not in sute and tie and behind big pulpit I dont know amen. Only accepton is street preeching amen you dont need no pulpet there amen but you do need to be in sute and tie. And then lets talk about them week decon run churches amen. You librales in churches where the preecher dont have athority need to get rite amen. You mite as well be Suthron Baptist with that kind of deecons running the show amen. Then you let your women walk round the church like too bit hore amen you shuld be shamed of yourself amen.

lets talk bout the ladies dress code amen. The KJB says you shuld be whereing dress at all time amen. If you ware pants your where close what pertains to man amen. Your flirtying with being a man amen and if you let your little girls where them amen dont be surprised amen if they become lesbans amen and amen.

Some of you out there say you have your wifes in subjeckson with all gravety amen. Maybe she wares dresses all time and obeys all time like wifes shuld amen but then you let her work outside the home amen. Thats out of pit of hell amen. Only jobs woman shuld do is be preecher wife or school teecher amen. If the kids is all growed up amen then you can go be nurse amen. But some of you women out there beng accountant and stuff like that need to get rite. Theres plent men accountant unemployed what cant feed there fambly becuse you got there job amen. You shuld be shamed amen.

Lets talk bout you yung women. Some of you women is 25 yeers old and still not marreed. some of you live in your own apartment amen. you have no busness doing that amen you need to be under athorty of dad or husbend amen and if your not then you need to get it rite amen. Theres plenty preecher boys in your local King James Baptist church what needs preecher wife and your too busy working. How you gong to have six or eit kids like woman shuld if you dont start having babies until your 30 amen? Wake up and smell the coffee amen its time to get merried amen.

Some of you complane that its been while since I brot you any good word on the Sinnernet amen. You punks need to reelize that I preech what I want to preech where I want to preech and when I wants to preech amen. Im not behold to you amen. Amen listen to me dont try and tell this preecher what to do amen becuse Im not a henpecked preecher amen and Im not a Conventon man amen and I dont have no deecons running the show here amen. Im INDAPENANT BAPTIST and you can like it or lump it but thats how it is AMEN. Im getting sick and tired of you librales always critize the preecher amen. Someone said to mee the other day amen that Phil your 25 aint it time you moved out of your parents basement amen? Let me tell you something punk Im called to full time minstry amen and Im not stepping down just to earn a buck amen. If I wanted to chase money amen Id go talk to Tim Lee and lern how amen. Dont you ever forget this preecher is is own man what preeches it strate!!!

Sinserly,

Evangelist Dr Phil ARmenik,Evanglist Bro. Dr. Phil Armenik, Moe.D., D.D., D.Min, D.I.P., Th.D., Ph.D., D.Litt, D.Hum.King James Only, Pretriblatonal, Premilenniall, Dispensatonal, High Standards, Soul Winning, Hell Fire and Brimestone Preachig, No Tunges, Landmark INDAPENDANT FUNMENTAL BAPTIST!!

10 Comments:

Blogger Gordon Cloud said...

Hi Dr. Phil (may I call you that?).

I would like your opinion on something. My church (Southern Baptist) is building a new building. As the pastor, I told them it would be good to have one of those new-fangled baptisteries where the pastor just stands behind it and does the baptism instead of getting in it and getting his clothes all wet.

One of my deacons said that this wasn't scriptural because John the Baptist (SBC) got into the water to baptize Jesus.

I told him that I bet if John the Baptist would have had one of these baptisteries he wouldn't have used the Jordan River at all.

What do you think about all of this?

6:37 PM  
Blogger Evanglist Bro. Dr. Phil Armenik, Moe.D., D.D., D.M said...

I think you need to get your doctrines strate and maybe even get saved amen. I dont know what kind of fake baptstry your talking bout but it sounds like its for homos amen. You know pretty boys that dont want to mess there hare up or brake a fingernail amen. Theres lots of those in the SBC amen.

Of corse John the Baptist wuld use Jordan river becuse thats where Namen was cured by dipping seventy times seven times into the river and his flesh became white as new fallen snaw amen. Someday when you get saved and you have money you ot to look into maybe getting baptized there.

But first thing you need to do is go to reel church. Suthron Baptists is from the Grate Hore of Babylon (thats Romen Cathlicks if your too stupid to know that alreddy amen) and not from the true Bride amen.

7:05 PM  
Blogger Gordon Cloud said...

I'm not really feeling the love here, Doc.

8:46 PM  
Blogger Ryan said...

Bro Dr. Phil, what is your take on Baptising someone who hasn't paid their tithes, or even worse, a woman who wears pants around the house?

2:13 PM  
Blogger Evanglist Bro. Dr. Phil Armenik, Moe.D., D.D., D.M said...

Bruther if you want to go picky bout who you baptise then bruther you wont have many baptisms then will you amen? The King James Bible says get them saved and get them baptised then hopefully they come to church and we work on the ruff edges amen. Once them sinners gets under the strate preeching of a good hellfare and brimstone Indapindant Baptist Preecher then wont be no time before there burning there briches and there rock and rolls records and all that trash amen. I dont worry bout what nobody tithe brother becuse Im not depindint on nobodys money amen. I always make sure I have nuff gas to get home in case they cant take the preechin amen. I preech it strate and I dont preech for money amen.

But I never turn it down either amen. Just last week I made almost $250 at a meeting in Detroit amen. But that wont happen ever week becuse were livin in the last days and peeples harts are waxed worst and worst amen. There fallen by the wayside ever day amen becuse there itchin ears wont stand the strate preeching what you find from Old Time Evanglists like me amen.

But I dont put no conditons on baptism except that you be saved amen.

4:06 PM  
Blogger D.J. Cimino said...

Dr Phil, (are you sure your last name isn't Kidd? just curious)

you write: If the kids is all growed up amen then you can go be nurse amen.

If a woman becomes a nurse what happens if their pt. has on one of those gowns that always opens in the back? Should our godly women be exposed to another man's bare rear end? I think that is wicked, and I am surprised at your liberalism on this issue!

Praying for you...

9:55 AM  
Blogger Gordon Cloud said...

Phil Kidd, now there is a name I have tried to forget.

8:41 AM  
Blogger yo_mama said...

amen

3:03 PM  
Blogger Cameron Cloud said...

Phil Kidd? Are you crazy? Next to Dr. Armenik, Philly the Kidd's nothin' but a back-scratchin, ear-ticklin', yellow-belly, liver-lily, penny-penchin, nickel-nippin, soft-soapin, panty-waistin, lace wearin, librul, compromisin' Suthern Babdist. He couldn' even sit on the same platform with a man o' Gawd like Bruther Armenik!

12:07 PM  
Blogger D.J. Cimino said...

Dr Phil... I need to laugh. Will you ever post again?

2:12 PM  

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